ben gets all the good dreams

this morning i dreamt i was dead, i had collapsed earlier in the day at the graphics and then when i got home i just did it again
and i was thinking oh shit i cant be dead and somehow i realised myself that i hadn't got a heartbeat and thought even the paramedics didn't care cause it had been 10 minutes and they still weren't here (i'm impatient when i'm dying i guess) but i had the revelation that if i were dead then how was i thinking so then i started to look at the good side and i was thinking YES I'M GONNA BE FINE and its an excuse to not have this work done
then it was just a dream
not a good start to a morning. i woke up about 11 ish
and its half 2 and i have still done nothing.
fuck my life.
i'm even starting a new blog to save my internet art fag findings, probably only thinking about doing it to waste more time.
ugh.