ok well

that was a little too far but it is THAT bad,
shame i'll be working full time next year

ummm i have everything booked for london, so i will be down between the 17th and the 21st, chilling with ben hopefully, doing some stuff for joes birthdya, maybe brighton and seeing leo ! sounds good
staying a hostel however doesn't but we'll see !

work tomorrow.

i want to kill myself...

ok so i really am the best at procrastinating

i've decided to put something off a whole YEAR.
nevermind, so after finishing my A2s i will chill for summer and find a fulltime job, work for most of the year, get the grand i need and chill doing my art for a year, get some travelling done.
then in september 2010 I will go to leeds art college for my foundation diploma, and in september 2011 i will hopefully be at london college of communication doing book arts
hooray.
this gives me a bucnh of time to maybe do a night class, get an amazing portfolio started, get some money together aaaand write my statement.
quite looking forward to it, and its a nice big weight off my shoulders, so i can go ahead and get the most out of my A2s.
Also, if i manage to duff up one of my grades this year, then next year, i can go in REALLY part time and resubmit etc, and pull the grade up, just by going in maybe 2-3 hours a week, then my mum will sitll get benefits and i won't be taxed for working
IDEAL.
i'm pretty happy right now
its a CSI night, i watched desperate housewives already and i have a bunch of other work that i'm not doing, amazing.

americas most smartest model reruns

are reminding me how much i love andre birleanu, lovely.
i have been megaaaa sick this week, havent been at college in like 4 days, could barely move/open my eyes on tuesday/wednesday
but i got a hair cut/colour this week, thats pretty sweet

heres a few dresses i need

in black








that first one so isn't me but i still really want it haha
that middle one will have my heart forever, it better crop back up in a size 8/4
that last one would be good for college

i miss jp

wierd dream

:(



ermmi can barely remember most of it
i was in nj
at some house i didnt recognise on my own
in the basement, i look out of the window while im weeing and teheres two people trying to like handstanf at it
so im like oh ok
and they fall through the window
and i cilmb back out,
and it appears that my friends are getting home from wherever they were
so theres the nj guys, and then theres my friend george and a few of his friends from st. albans or wherever which is kinda wierd since were 30000 miles away ahhaa
then theres a coupla people dressed like surgeons and im like oh ok send more paramedics fans or some shit like that
i walk back in the house and george has me up against the wall and i was like wtf george i didnt know you were cheeky wtf are you doing ahhaahaaa
then some wierd joke fight breaks out
the surgeosn have MEGA wter guns, but they dont look like water guns
wtf
youre such a weirdo
im scared and jsut kinda hide behind the door
and then its just me and george and the 2 surgeons left with their water guns
and im like FOR FUCKS SUCK IM SOAKED FUCK OFF I HAVE TO GET A PLANE IN A FEW HOURS
and she takes off her surgeon mask and it turns out shes a girl
and shes like WELL ME TOO FUCK YOU
then all i remmeber now is seeing the wierd surgeon girls on tv befor ei left

kitty :(

pos won't stop sneezing and it's making me laugh/sad :(
poor kitty
he fell off the tv

7/1

ok so my kitten is going wild and is making more noise running/jumping down the stairs then i would if i were 20 stone.
i am also very happy right now as my alarm went off on my phone and it turns out it was to remind me to watch sex and the city YESSSSS.
also jonathan is being THE BEST right now, i couldn't be happier with that.
aaaaand, i'm looking to take 19th of february off work and trekking down to london for a few days, i miss everyone down there and it sucks, i hate the fact its been over a year, it's almost disgusting, some of my favourite people are down there.
i had my graphics resit exam today, it was ok, but shit too, i can't be bothered, i'm still sorting out my prep now.
i just wanna draaaaaaaw but i can't bring myself to do it.

i felt like i had a load to say tonight but i have no idea what, i need to like update this with my phone or something because i am hopeles with memorising.
nevermind, i'm gonna watch sex and the city forever and listen to jawbreaker all night.

oh and the n-dubz cd i thought was a bit of a joke is growing on me.

i really wish i could motivate myself to do something with my life. i know i could do it, its jsut a case of will i ? like right now i want to draw and if i did i could probably come out with a few pages in my sketch book of something cool, but will i ? nope. fuck you !

im watching simposons

i hate it, but i guess its okish cause its a halloween special so it's almost good
oh and i have another blog that's even more boring then this one to try and help my obsessive list writing
this is my lists and cutouts/things that i keep to look for later, i musta started this folder in november time ?



i mean i guess the magazine cut outs and stuff is great for inspiration but theyre mixed in with so many lists its impossible.
many lists are of links that i mean to go back to, but as i refuse to do it by copying and pasting cause i like my handwritten notes then i usually get them wrong.
SO i will hopefully remember to try just do them on there, all the pictures i find for inspiration, all my lists, everything, i am a waste of paper, but i guess this is a waste of internet.
nevermind !


oh and
http://listsofdoom.blogspot.com/
i really have no imagination, as the link shows haha.

it's 5pm

still haven't done anything :(

ben gets all the good dreams

this morning i dreamt i was dead, i had collapsed earlier in the day at the graphics and then when i got home i just did it again
and i was thinking oh shit i cant be dead and somehow i realised myself that i hadn't got a heartbeat and thought even the paramedics didn't care cause it had been 10 minutes and they still weren't here (i'm impatient when i'm dying i guess) but i had the revelation that if i were dead then how was i thinking so then i started to look at the good side and i was thinking YES I'M GONNA BE FINE and its an excuse to not have this work done
then it was just a dream
not a good start to a morning. i woke up about 11 ish
and its half 2 and i have still done nothing.
fuck my life.
i'm even starting a new blog to save my internet art fag findings, probably only thinking about doing it to waste more time.
ugh.

sup

so it's a new year, i gave up and forgot about this last year.
but i am procrastinating more then ever right now so i've even resorted to this to put things off.
i have written my lovely big sticky note on my screen in big capitals to try and force me to do it, but i just can't, i prefer to write lists on what i have to do rather then doing it.

that's a horrific amount of work. i hate me.
2 days to go.
i get to play in a freezing cold, pitch black church on my own tomorrow, fun.
fuck my photography course, i chose a stupid thing to do

oh and a break down of the list.
the portfolio is SO necessary or everything else doesn't matter, that portfolio will hopefully be the thing to get my to leeds art college for my foundation year, cause it doesn't look lik emy grades will be doing that.
all the essays are around 3000 words long each.
the photos is what i'm getting on with in the church, it is a whole photography project we have had months to get on with i need to take the photos, sort out my research and critical studies, sort the photos, print/develop the photos, and mount it all, all i've done so far is make an amazing sketch book to put them in, making books is my favourite thing to do, so that is why the college course i want to do is book arts.
umm, animal magazine is the (at least) 3 weeks of prep we are supposed to have done for my graphics exam on wednesday. but i think the recommended time is like 8 weeks. i have 2 days, oh well.
the zoo is a years worth of project.
he IT stuff is just a pain in the arse.
and the other exams aren't a problem.

i'm pretty happy tho cause luke and becka were on tv the other day so me and ben were heart eyesing everywhere, didn't see enough of beckas boobies tho :(
i probably will end up watching celebrity big brother even though it's even worse then the regular one. nevermind, i have no life.

i guess i can save other deep ramblings for later cause this has already probably taken me half an hour and it doesn't really say a lot, and definitely doesn't say anything interesting.


i hate the fact that my macbook decides to tell me whenever i spell things wrong, which is forever, i have been forced to start using the backspace key again, i never bothered before and just carried on regardless, but this is annoying, if anyone knows how to turn it off, help.