i need to have

a productive sunday, but i know i'll be dead after work.
let's see.

i bought some new pens today

thank god, not stealing the shitty ones from college anymore
they are nice.

i wish

i did words.

so, london !

i am once again useless, as is my memory, so lets try rememeber my trip last week.
i forgot how much i missed everyone.

tuesday.
i'm on the train to london and i'm on a 4-seater table with a family who wouldn't stop throwing cards everywhere, great.
then a Chinese guy gets a phone call for around 2 hours, so cue me glaring at him the whole time because he was SO loud and i refuse to believe what he was speaking was actually a language.
so, i get to london, it is roasting and i was sweating buckets by the time i got to the hostel, yet everyone around me was wrapped up in coats and scarves. guess we're just built better in the north. rugged. so first impressions of the hostel were AMAZING. wow, it's so nice, the building, the inside and the people.
i put my stuff down and sort mysoulf out a bit and head straight back out, go on a quick wander, end up on oxford street so i go to selfridges to see if chew was working, no dice.
so i hop back on the tube (with very tired legs) and go off to st pancreas to get on a train to st albans to go chill with George !
an hour later i'm chilling in Starbucks with george talking about some weird kid, when he walks in with Jamie, Colin and some other guys, then we couldn't shake him for the rest of the night.
for some reason there were 6 police cars, 2 police helicopters and a pack of dogs running around but we never really found out why.
then we go to nandos, cause it turns out the weird kid (josh) has a date that he was supposed to see but she was late, so we went in and sat down and me and george had a bowl of chips, while charlie and jamie had massive plates of burgers, which they messed about with A LOT. so joshs date turns up and talks to one of joshs friends the whole time instead of josh, then leaves 20 minutes later. OH and i cried with laughter when some kid was walking up the stairs infront of us, broke into a happy skip and fell straight on his face, colin just burst out laughing at him and its definitely making me laugh a lot right now.
after all that we go to the pub and chill with some nice non-alcoholic pear cider, it was pretty nice and i keep trying to remember to see if we have any at work.
so after that we go to mcdonalds drive through and park next to a bin, we throw josh out of the car to walk home, then decide to follow him, he starts running for some reason so we overtook him and parked near his house, then hid by his front door, he took forever getting back for some reason and he wasn't scared when we jumped out at him, but never mind. he invites us in and we go chill in his room for a bit. colin digs around EVERYTHING in his room, finds some real treasures haha. went looking for the SAHC 4 LIFE shirt but no luck.

wednesday.
had a shopping morning !
got up and out pretty early as i had already been down oxford street and back before uniqlo opened at 10
spent hideous amounts of money and had my first primark experience, terrifying. haha
so after that i get a call from alex and i hop on over to soho to chill for his lunch break. he's a vegan fag now so we had to go find vegan places to eat and he bought a marzipan covered in dark choclate bar, sounds yummy. i felt like getting a vegan burger or something but i couldnt bring myself to do it.
i hop on back over to st albans to chill with george colin and jamie. there was set to be a photoshoot by jamie for colins band, but that wasnt happening anymore so george took me out into the middle of nowhere to chow me some scary places. first we went down some awful tiny little roads to a lane at the bottom of luton airport runway, where the planes go ridiculously close to your head, after chilling and talking about ghosts we go to an abandoned castle to try and prepare me for harperbury, which is an abandoned hospital that they always go take photos in, i was scared. we roll up to the castle after a nice long drive down the worst road i've ever seen. it's SO muddy i get mud up to my knees, but we trek on anyway and chill at the castle a while, i get cold and scared tho so we go back and leave after seeing 2 guys with a gun haha.
we go back to st albans and go to 'the toffy tower' which is where colin, robin and toffy live, chill in colins room with jamie, colin and george, who seemed to be my main chillers for the week. we order a pizza, with some chicken dip ? then some guy called james come round, we chill till silly o clock in the morning then george takes me home again.

thursday.
i had a bit of a lye in, or a lot of a lye in, sorted myself out and decided to go to the party that the guys were going to in maidstone tongiht. i get to st albans and it turns out the parties been cancelled, oh well. we found somehting else to do, so we drove into london and ended up at some crazy underground bowling alley/live music club/kareoke booths/bar/club. colin knew a girl that worked there and she took us through this tiny door in one of the karaoke booths, behind the machinery of the bowling alley through another little corridoor and we popped out in another underground bowling alley/swanky bar. it had a hot tub room
it was sweeet, we got in and chilled on the sofas until the crazy metalheads started appearing (it was cannibal corpses aftershow party) there were some crackers in there...
one guy definitely took all his style tips from murderdolls.
there was the blonde girl air guitaring in the middle of the club, swinging her hair around and everything, she was loving it.
and our personal favourite, the simple headbanger/singalonger next to us.
so many wierd people for one room


i'll finish this later my hand hurts and it's probably painfully boring to read.

ugh

i feel horrible
basically my grandma gave me this big cat toy thing but the kitties rarely play with it and didn't seem to like it, apart from at first, i never see them play with it anyway
its in the room next to mine and on a night i hear them playing with it, for some reason one of the kitties seems pretty embarrassed when you catch it playing, i guess it thinks its above it or whatever so as soon as you walk in on it playing it stops and runs off all embarrassed
so basically for a while i've been hearing this toy next door jingling
so i try and catch it out tonight.
as i'm opening my door i realise that the kitties haven't been out at all at night for the past week cause they've been shut in their room cause their on heat and their really loud and annoying
so they couldn't have been doing it all week
there's no breeze at all and definitely nothing that would be able to jingle it
it suckssss

i think i might get rid of it soon haha

will post a picture of the offending article asap

ok so

london tomorrow
i'm pretty excited
come dine with me is on
i'm pretty excited

um so my itinerary for this week
wake up nice and early tomorrow to get my train and probably finish my packing
tuesday will probably be st albans day, in the afternoon
hopefully chill with some people on the night or jsut chill
wednesday will hopefully be ben day !
thursday may be brighton, or brighton from 4pm onwards, chill with kittens and chaos days
friday is joes day, going out to wagamamas then out to hot damn on the night
saturday i have no idea hopefully more chilling with ben and home time at 8pm

then work on sunday and hopefully up to jonathans for the night !

taken

why do i wanna watch this film ?
looks awful
and def not my thing.
i just actually watched never been kissed after trying to 3 or 4 times, i hate my taste in films.

happy birthday me

no care
i guess i should be having my first legal drink
nevermind

PLAYA PLAYAAAA

so i'm babsitting for my nextdoor neighbours and i hear what i dread everytime i come round
one of them shouting for mummy
so glad it was the girl, she's so chill, we talked for ages
but i found out she's a playaaaa, she's only 5 and she has three boyfriends !
she is so cute tho

i guess i feel bad about never updating

so here's the third post in like an hour
i wrote a list of things that bugged me at work today.
i hate it when customers get all smug about taking the time to give you perfect change, like i should be impressed you gave me £21 AND the 56p
it's not that hard, and it just makes putting it in the cash draw even more annoying.
you shouldn't feel clever i have to count out shitty amounts of change for every fucker else

and number two tonight is when i ask you if you have a reward car I AM NOT OFFERING YOU ONE
so don't say no THANKYOU
and i know you're being polite but don't say sorry either, i don't fucking care, it's not me missing out on the free money you'd be getting if you were so lazy you couldn't pick up a free card. you come in every fucking night, you may aswell.

and i'm pissed that i can't read the other scrawl i wrote on the old receipt to remember later, but i'm sure the exact same thing will happen next shift
which is on my birthday FUN.

ok, so my dream this morning

i felt so good/shitty all morning
good because this dream was amazing and shitty because i can't completely remember it and there's no way i can describe it in a way to even remotely do it justice, i guess i could try drawing what i saw, it was beautiful
lets try.
started out in a hallway with some kid, she was chilling in the doorway to a bigish room leading onto another big room (which i think was her families apartment, and i have the feeling i thought i was staying there now i think about it, i guess the room/layout of the hallway might have something to do with the hostel i'll be staying in in london), guess she kinda knew me, seeing as i'd be sleeping in a big bed with the females in her family in one of the rooms. so she was chilling, on a laptop, or with a small electronic toy, and i guess i got bored of sitting with her, especially after some guy in an apartment across the hall beckoned me over, part of me wants to think this was ben levy, cause i'm sure he appeared in this dream somewhere and what i can remember leads me to believe this was him here.
so i tell the kid i'll be right back cause the guy was telling me to check out the view from his balcony, the kid starts to kinda get worried asking me to promise her not to sleep with him (wtf, i know right) so i promised this stranger that i wouldn't get with some other stranger, because i know i was definitely not planning to, i just wanted to see out the window, the little girl was starting to creep me out.
so i go through his apartment, which from what i remember was a room with a single bed, next to a balcony door, so i go straight across to the balcony, from what i remember of the room it was daytime but everything else in the dream happens at night. i kinda remember some guy sat on the floor propping himself up against the bed, doing something geeky i.e PlayStation/xbox/laptop.
So, i'm out on the balcony now and i guess it leads onto the top of some nice big garden and i'm looking down onto the most beautiful (small) cityscape in the dark, big lights everything, it was beautiful i can't even describe, this sounds creepy but no care it was one of the nicest things ive ever seen, especially as there was the most amazing colours/stars in the sky.
So i'm chilling out looking into the lights in the town/city, and in between a few of the standard lights there's a few las vegas esque lights, big wild coloured ones pointing at MASSIVE things, looking all pretty etc.
i tried taking photos on my phone, cause i knew for a fact i didnt have my camera (which i guess is also because i've told myself i'm not taking my camera to london with me) so i'm getting very frustrated cause my phone is refusing to take photos of the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my life. and for some reason now theres a bunch of other people seemingly getting beautiful shots of it, never mind.
i have a wander across to the left of the garden and i notice round the side of the house looks exactly like my view to my neighbours house, but a really really nice version of it that doesnt have a back wall, its just flat land going forever. they have a baby, and for some reason they hang their babygro's on some amazingly shaped cactus sat there in the garden, instead of the washing line. whatever, it was another beautiful thing, i dunno what it was, nothing special, i just think it was lit beautifully, there was something special about it.
so by now i'm on my own, wondering if those knobheads across the garden have got good photos, oh and i managed to get my phone to take a picture of the cactus bit. so i start walking over to where the garden turns into the balcony and i'm starting to worry about ben, especially seeing as all the people have gone.
next thing i know the garden is a kinda ski slope, i have no idea.
i have another look at the amazing view and i look down and stumble upon my camera, im like OH SHIT YES but the lens has been taken off and it on the floor next to it, shame its my 70-300mm lens so when i'm trying to get a photo it's just not working or focusing or fitting the whole thing into the image, so i give up on that again, being very frustrated it wasn't my 10-20. (which i don't really get, cause the city seemed so far away i think the 10-20 def wouldn't have been right)
i guess i decided to try get to the city by going down the big ski slope, camera in hand, i dont think i was skiing, just generally chilling down this hill, when i end up sliding down the hill next to a skier, i guess my camera had miraculously changed lens as i managed to get some amazing shots of him as we were going down the slope. fuck knows.
then i think some more stuff happened, i got back to the apartment or something.
but cielo came and knocked on my door and i woke up, probably with dribble on my pillow
i can't remember, it was good.

a few things...

it's snowed all week, sweet
it's my birthday on sunday, sweet
i wanna get out of this country so bad right now i need to go do stufffff, i think my dream this morning helped with that

ben i loe you